I do sometimes become a little arrogant. I don't try to be but it happens. When writing about Heaven, I run the risk of sounding very arrogant, depending on the reader. On the one hand it sounds arrogant to assume I'll be there, or that I have any qualification whatsoever to talk about it now--regardless of whether or not I'll be there later.
It could also seem arrogant to lump this idea into one when I could make the distinction between a New Heaven and a New Earth, or arrogant to suppose that it
can split up into the latter two ideas. You might also note the lack of Scriptural reference. I do this often and for good reason: I want the reader to see what Scripture says if I am writing that kind of blog, but this is not one of those blogs where I've felt it necessary to pander to my pride by proof-texting. On some subjects I will give more than enough Scripture, but I won't today. Those things that inform my view of Heaven will be familiar enough to the believing reader (I also tend to quote Scripture or paraphrase it without drawing explicit reference to chapter and verse).
Whatever we agree on that I am being arrogant about on this topic, I have a greater point to make concerning who I'll be when I get there (for the sake of discussion let's assume that knowing Jesus Christ does in fact get me to Heaven).
I'll let the cat out of the bag now: I have no idea who I'll be in Heaven. At least not entirely. What I mean is that I am being changed
to something and not only
from something. I have not only had my heart turned away from believing the lie that lusting after a woman is a good thing, I've also had it turned toward believing that my wife is the one I share my soul with and that God has good reason for not wanting me to lust after a woman.
Job understood all along that God was good and just. The dramatic speech that God gives at the end of the book does not add a new thing to Job's understanding of who God is: all-powerful, just, good, creative, sovereign, and all-knowing. But Job would not
know what truly trusting who God is unless there was a time he needed to. I cannot fathom the Grace God has given me until I see how twisted my mind is and then
know how God still loves me as He loves His Son. Job would not
know that God will always take care of him and use him to bring glory to God without walking through that. Abraham did not
know how much he trusted God until he was right at the altar with Isaac. It should be obvious by this point that when I say 'know' I mean knowing in the deepest possible way. I can read about, talk about, hear about, and watch someone being cut with a knife. But I don't know what being cut by a knife
really means until I am myself cut.
This is why we say God doesn't change His mind: He has nothing to gain from the experience but those whose perspectives are limited have everything to gain from it. I can 'know' that my child will disobey me but they don't 'know' that until they do. God is not amassing an army of the Same that operates as one unit with the same expression or levels of faith and the same outcomes, backgrounds, experiences, language, skin, race, &c. "There is neither Jew nor Greek, male nor female, slave nor free" in this Heaven of which I speak. The Originator of Diversity Himself has saved all kinds of those who have "turned away". He will repopulate the New Earth with incredible diversity those whom He has rescued will enjoy the wonders of various races and backgrounds and cultures and tastes and experiences and gifts and abilities and interests. God's Son has redeemed a people for His Father under the same household, but with so many different rooms.
So what does all of this have to do with who I, John Wilson, will be in Heaven? It means that for every pain I feel, every time I fail God, every time I serve faithfully, every time I grasp Grace for one second, every time I share the Gospel, every time I become bitterly angry because of my pride, every time I don't trust God, every time I hurt others, every time I'm happy or nervous or anxious or sad I can trust that Christ's redeeming work on the cross means that all of my life will contribute to who I get to be in Christ's present and future kingdom and that
no matter what that life consists of He has washed it clean and can use every last bit of what has shaped me for His glory. Christians sometimes say that God has 'forgotten' our sin. I think that makes little of Christ's atonement; rather, our sin is remembered but not counted against us. One of the great things God can do is not to simply throw away that part of us that has so offended Him, but rather to restore it and make it into something that pleases Him and this is why the process seems painful at times. It is the slow, methodical undoing of thought-patterns that revolve around me and reforming the neural pathways for their original intent.
Who do I get to be in Heaven? I get to be myself. Only this time, I get to be the John that doesn't selfishly turn away from God. I get to be the John that runs so freely toward Him because at long last I will understand Grace to its fullest extent and self-sabotage will have been thrown into the fire. I will love like I should, feel like I should, laugh like I should, and create like I should and all of it will build up those around me and glorify God. In that sense there is the aspect of the Kingdom that is now. God is already pleased with me. I have nothing to earn or give but I still refuse the rescue some days because I want to try to make something of my own work. We do see through a dark glass and there is grace in the being able to see at all, but that Face to Face will be a true john knowing the One True God.
Heaven: where there are no clefts.
Post a Comment